


Waiting is more than worth while

by Avidfangirlforlife



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 12:47:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11081901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avidfangirlforlife/pseuds/Avidfangirlforlife
Summary: The five times Kate Stewart stops herself from kissing Osgood, and the one time she doesn't have to.





	Waiting is more than worth while

The first time she catches herself thinking about kissing Osgood, is in the middle of a weekly briefing. For all intents and purposes, it is a thoroughly important meeting, seen as (for some reason) this particular week had seen three alien incursions around the country. So, when she finds herself distracted, she almost scolds herself intensely.

After all, she is the boss, which surely means she should lead by example. But then, she distracts herself further when she realises exactly what it is drawing her attention away from the briefing. At the moment she had noticed her wandering mind (frequenting far more pleasant realms than that of the underground Tower briefing rooms), Osgood had been talking. Using various charts and diagrams (all exceedingly informative, because of course they were, Osgood had made them) and a rather large amount of hand gestures, her friend had been rambling her way through an explanation of various alien properties and the likelihood of return visits.

Kate had been listening, very intently of course, and whilst staring at her friend, she had found herself zoning out. Or, more specifically, she had found herself zoning out whilst her eyes remained fixed on Osgood's lips. She startles herself with this revelation, because she finally realises exactly where her mind had been. She'd been sat, staring (and if she didn't know any better, she'd say there had been a rather dazed look on her face), thinking about what it would be like to kiss Osgood.

Which isn't a surprise in itself, because Osgood is a very attractive and rather adorable individual. The way she scrunches her nose when she is either nervous or trying to think through the specific parameters of a problem or simply when she is trying to keep her glasses in the correct positioning on her face, is an extremely lovable quality. It's the fact that she had found herself so distracted by another person, especially when at work, that had shocked her.

Because that is really not something that happens to her, she thinks. At least, if it does, it lasts only a moment at most. When it comes to most people, she certainly doesn't find herself unable to shake off such thoughts. Doesn't have to physically restrain herself from doing something with the potential to be embarrassing. But, as she finds out in this particular briefing one strange Tuesday morning, Osgood is apparently an exception to such rules.

The second time she finds herself seriously considering kissing Osgood, it is in remarkably different circumstances from the first instance. Kate would be lying to herself in the very least if she didn't admit to thinking about kissing Osgood on a fairly regular basis. Would be fibbing if she tried to claim that she hadn't wondered what it would be like, down to the smallest detail. Would be lying if she didn't admit (at least to herself) that more and more recently, she had found herself imagining such things.

Such things, Kate can admit (because she is a mature grown up, whom is very much aware of her own feelings), have been playing on her mind almost continually since that very first realisation at the briefing. She can admit this to herself, even if the admittance of such a fact is slightly painful to her. Because it had been months, literal months, and she had yet to find herself in a situation in which it would be prudent to act upon such desires.

However, on the morning of her second refrain, a dreary morning in the middle of November, she had found herself in such a situation. During the early hours, there had been yet another alien incursion (according to Osgood, there had been more this year, statistically speaking, than there had been for the past twelve years) and Kate and Osgood had both found themselves out in the field. Standard procedure would usually dictate that this could not be the case. Because Osgood was not a field agent, nor was she cleared for field work. 

But, on this one particular morning in November, things had been slightly different from usual procedures. Namely, Kate had been in a foul mood for nearly a week (nobody could quite say why) and the scene of the crash had needed analysing, stat., to say the least. Not wanting to suffer any fools in her current mood, she had requested Osgood. And nobody in particular had wanted to face the wrath of their boss, and so no one had argued with her choice.

So, when Osgood joins her and spends the two and a half hour car journey beaming at her, despite the early hour, she pretends not to see. And if her cheeks are slightly pink at the top (due, Kate thinks, to both contentment and excitement), Kate pretends that her heart doesn't skip a beat at the sight of it. And if her astonishingly bad mood from earlier in the morning has all but melted away, ever since her friend had gotten into the car, her subordinates pretend not to notice.

She pretends not to see, because the back of a car (no matter how large and slightly obnoxious it may be) is not a large amount of space. So the distance between her and her friend is not very far. She pretends not to see because she finds herself desperately wanting to see if she can deepen that blush, using only her lips to assist her. She pretends not to see the beam fixed easily on Osgood's face, because it makes her heart hammer in her chest, and it drives images of other ways to increase her heart rate into her mind. Which isn't helpful, not when she is trying her utmost hardest not to reach out and draw the other woman to her, and taste her lips for the first time. She pretends not to see, because the two of them are friends (good friends) and she doesn't want to spoil that by doing something she may regret after only a moment.

The third time she refrains from kissing Osgood, the two of them are out in the field once again. They are running, playing the prey in a chase that she isn't quite sure how they found themselves in. The streets of Bristol are abandoned around them, perhaps due to it being the middle of the night, or perhaps just because of the forbidding atmosphere that seems to permeate the air.

UNIT had been called in to investigate from London, with Kate and Osgood at the helm of said investigation, a little more than two days before hand. From there on, Kate could almost swear that their luck had taken a turn for the worst, because things had seemed to continually go wrong. Machines had been playing up, readings they had picked up had been extremely abnormal, and members of their team had started to act strangely.

All of which had, of course, built into a crescendo resulting in said chase. In that moment, Kate could swear that it feels like the two of them have been running all night. She can feel her heart pounding in her chest, can hear the blood crashing in her ears. Even with the adrenalin rushing through her veins, she can feel how weary she is, right down to her bones. She thinks that maybe, just maybe, she might be getting a tad too old for this.

The two of them pause for breath in an alleyway, panting and trembling (just from sheer exertion of course), and they are probably standing too close together, but it's something neither of them really seem to realise. Osgood leans back again the wall, gasping and wheezing, trying to draw air into her uncooperative lungs. If Kate is finding it hard, then Osgood must be far worse off. 

Kate knows that Osgood had lost her inhaler, perhaps an hour ago, far back in the city, when they had much more of a head start. She can almost feel the presence of whatever is chasing them (the team just couldn't seem to identify the creature), moving ever closer. But there are more important things to deal with, at present, such as Osgood's inability to breathe, now that they have stopped for a moment.

She isn't sure exactly how to help, and finds herself hovering redundantly for a moment. So tired, so old, she feels in that moment, that she just simply doesn't know what to do. No one has come to their rescue yet, and there is only so long they can run for. She's out of bullets, and almost out of ideas, as is Osgood. Which is a new sensation for the pair of them. However, as Osgood leans back against the grimy wall and struggles to draw air into her lungs, Kate has something of a eureka moment.

Somehow, she remembers that at one stage, after Osgood had started joining her more and more for field work, she had started packing an inhaler in her coat pocket. Which she was currently wearing. Whilst Osgood struggled to breathe. In a matter of seconds, she had the inhaler out of its' box, uncapped and shook, ready to be taken. She held it in front of Osgood, far enough away from her face that she could focus on it, but close enough that she would be able to see it in the half darkness of the alley. Even through the darkness she could see the grateful look that overtook the other woman's face as she took the inhaler.

Almost immediately, her breathing eased. As she leaned back against the wall, Kate watched her, the feeling of relief in her chest almost palpable. When Osgood opened her eyes, breathing easy and somewhat settled once again, there's something in her eyes that makes Kate's breath stutter to a stop, just for a second. It makes her forget the situation they are in, just for a second, and it drives her to distraction.

So much so, that she forgets they are in an alleyway, fleeing from danger (and potentially fleeing for their lives). So much so, that she finds herself leaning in, just ever so slightly, drawn into the inviting warmth of Osgood's eyes, glinting in the half light. That is, until she feels warm fingers close around hers, a thumb stroking against her knuckles, as Osgood pushes away from the wall. A small smile is thrown over the younger woman's shoulder, full of something Kate can't quite seem to grasp, and her hand is released as the two of them begin to jog away from whatever is following them once again. 

The fourth time Kate has to actively make herself refrain from kissing Osgood, it is in a much more personal situation. Over the years in which the two of them had worked together, they had become increasingly close. Although they had initially been two individuals whom could work well together, their friendship had very much grown from there. Kate liked to think of it as an organic progression, one that happened on its own.

However, as their friendship had grown, the two of them had begun to spend more and more of their down time together (although she had to admit that this was very much limited by their work already). Over the years, the two of them had taken to having dinner together, in a restaurant, at least once a week. It was a small pleasure, she knew, but it was a pleasure that she greatly treasured.

On one such occasion, the two of them had decided to push out the boat, and visit a quiet French restaurant they had both been wanting to try for some time. After rather too much wine indulgence (on both of their parts) Kate had found that the sound of Osgood's giggle was one of the most delightful sounds on the planet. The sort of thing that she could listen to all day, without ever once wanting to complain.

Eventually, the two of them realise how truly late it is, grimacing because tomorrow is still very much a work day. When the bill arrives, Kate insists on paying, and somehow she wins against all of Osgood's arguments. For a moment, she lets herself consider what it would be like if this was a date. Her inebriated mind follows the thought, and she would be lying to herself if she tried to say that thoughts of such domesticity, such intimacy, didn't thrill her. She thinks, as they stand up to leave, that the familiarity between them couldn't possibly grow anymore.

If it were a date, there would be no qualms in her mind about catching Osgood's fingers, of joining their hands as they left. Kate has always been a private person, but with Osgood, that is every so slightly different. More than anything, in that moment, she wished that they were there together under slightly different circumstances. That wish is only increased when, as they are heading towards the door (walking perhaps a tad too closely together to be strictly friendly) their fingers brush together and seem to catch, just for a second.

Of course, to Kate and her wine addled brain, this seems to last for much longer than a second. Although it is only a heartbeat or two, she could swear such a moment lasts a lifetime. In the dim light of the restaurant doorway, she could almost swear that Osgood is blushing fiercely. Had to stop herself from reaching out and cupping her cheek, which she tells herself is simply scientific curiosity. Wanting to prove a hypothesis to herself, and all that. She's far past the stage of pretending, but it is easy to pretend, easy to fool herself into thinking such a thing, in her alcohol induced state. She stops herself from reaching forward, because something in her tells her that it is not the right time, not just yet. Perhaps soon, or perhaps never. But not just yet. So even through the fog of alcohol, she holds herself back, and later, it is something she will thank herself for.

The fifth time she has to stop herself from kissing Osgood, there is something raging inside of her that she can't quite seem to explain. It seems to her that the two of them have been dancing around the subject (very much a dance of "will they/won't they") of them for months. There are moments in which Osgood looks at her, full of a soft tenderness and something much more, that make her want to melt.

At times, the two of them share looks that seem to never end. Such moments set her heart beating and her soul flying, because whatever is going to happen between them, is sure to happen soon. Lingering touches -a hand at the small of the younger woman's back, shoulders brushing as they walk, fingers clasping Kate's shoulder- seem to pass between them more and more frequently, and Kate could swear that in such moments, she could fly.

The fifth time she has to stop herself from kissing Osgood (and doing a whole lot more, in public, because of what she feels in this particular moment) they are once again out in the field. It's been a long day, full of inconclusive test results and not an awful lot more. Kate had found herself standing around, not an awful lot of leading for her to do, watching Osgood as she worked. As the day had progressed, she'd noticed some strange behaviour. Captain Carter, whom before this day she had always thought very capable, had been hovering near Osgood, much in the way that she had.

When Osgood had paused in her work to take a break, he'd been there in an instance. Flirting with her openly, in the way that Kate had never been able to. This, of course, had set something in Kate twisting and snarling. It's an ugly emotion, but one she can't seem to surprise nevertheless. She'd never really considered herself to be a jealous person, not even in the slightest, but at that moment her world view had changed.

Throughout the day, Captain Carter had flirted with Osgood, and had received nervous smiles and warm blushes in return. She would be lying if she said that such a display hadn't made her want to do something rash. She'd found herself feeling possessive, something she could admit was not her finest moment, and her chest had lurched repeatedly.

She'd found herself wanting to stride over, pull Osgood to her and stake her claim. It was a primal emotion she'd never really felt before, and it was one she hoped to never feel again, once this day had passed. She found herself imagining all the ways she could show the world that whatever her and Osgood were building towards, it was not to be trifled with. She restrained herself, of course, because Osgood was not her girlfriend and she was certainly not her possession. Kate would not claim her, because she was not something to be claimed.

Such an emotion as jealousy was ugly, and not something she would mar the blossoming feelings between them with. Osgood was an autonomous being, free to make her own choices. If she chose Captain Carter, well Kate wouldn't like it, but she would respect the decision. Because she respected Osgood. So, even as she watched Captain Carter flirt more and more openly as the day passed, she did nothing. Nothing except watch with her proverbial hackles raised, and her teeth gritted. She was almost certain that anyone watching her closely would see the want in her eyes, because there was nothing she could do to hide it, not on such a day.

When, at the end of the day, she heard Captain Carter ask Osgood out, she found herself holding her breath. Carter would be the easier choice, she knew. He was a nice man, young and handsome, and Kate knew that he would treat Osgood well. It was easy to see how the two of them could work together, easy and seamless and effortless. When stood side by side, she could see how they complimented one another. Osgood could choose Carter, and Kate would not blame her. Not even in the slightest.

She watches as Osgood smiles at Carter, a kind and genuine smile, and her heart seems to stutter to a stop in her chest. She's happy for her, truly she is, Kate thinks, even as she can't seem to tear her eyes away. Still, the ever present and ugly feeling of jealousy melts away as she watches, for which she is eternally grateful. Then, to her surprise, she watches as Osgood pats Carter on the shoulder, much in the way most people would pat a puppy on its' head. She watches as Osgood walks away from Carter, whom has his good natured smile on his face.

She watches as Osggod walks towards her. All at once, her heart seems to start again in her chest, thundering in a nervous pattern. Her blood seems to crash in her ears, and she can feel the slow smile Osgood always seems to bring out in her emerging. Osgood looks at her, eyes full of seemingly infinite tenderness. Even as her smile, or rather smirk, is knowing. Almost as if she is fully aware of exactly what Kate has been thinking, all day. Almost as if she could hear ever single fantasy that has roared through Kate's head, all day, driven by jealousy.

She smirks at her, and Kate can feel her knees turn to jelly. It's a first, being made to go weak at the knees, especially at work. Osgood manages it splendidly though, to such an extent that if Kate were a less proud or stubborn person, she would need to find something to lean against if she wanted to stay upright. When Osgood is finally in front of her, smirk still firmly in place, something seems to pass between them. Something that does not need to be spoken. She doesn't kiss her, because after all they are still out in the field, but an understanding passes between them. The relief Kate feels is palpable, and she's almost certain that Osgood feels it too.

The first time Kate Stewart fully kisses Osgood in public (fully, as in more than just a peck), Osgood is her girlfriend. It's been more than a year of dating, but what with the two of them being quite private people, they don't make a song and dance of kissing one another in public. Not because they feel they shouldn't, but rather just because it has never been necessary.

All of that changes, in a rather dramatic fashion, just after dawn on a Thursday morning in September. It's a warm morning, and the world seems to be quiet around them, which simply doesn't fit the mood of the morning. She supposes, later on, that it was the deafening quiet that always seems to hit after the storm. Still, at the time it is more than disconcerting, the way the silence seems to fall immediately after chaos had hit.

She remembers running around frantically, an undignified sight if ever there was one, the head of UNIT scrabbling around like a headless chicken, shouting her girlfriends' name for all to hear. The Ratraxi seem to have left, jumping ship as soon as they had caused chaos in the heart of London. Leaving craters and debris everywhere in their wake. And, though she can see many members of UNIT, she just can't quite seem to find Osgood.

That is, at least, until she hears a cough and a mumbled curse. More a grumble of noises than any actual complaint, she watches as her girlfriend pulls herself up into sitting position, glaring at her askew glasses and straightening her bow tie. Osgood looks up at her, nose twitching and the grumpiness melts away as she takes in Kate's restlessness. She sees the relief in Kate's face, even as she watches her face try not to crumple, bottom lip caught between her teeth to stop it from wobbling.

She's up at once, striding across the rubble as quickly as she can. Anything to reach her girlfriend before the tears begin to fall. Can't have Kate Stewart crying in the street in the middle of a crisis, that can wait for later, in the privacy of their bedroom, when Osgood can hold her and Kate can cry to her hearts' content.

In a matter of moments she reaches her girlfriend, draws her to her chest, hands cupping her cheeks. Kate looks at her, relief evident in her eyes, and she relaxes into her. Osgood merely looks at her, holds her close, and reassures her that she is here, unharmed. That they have been lucky, but they have a crisis to deal with. She looks at her girlfriend, her eyes promising later. Later, they can fall apart if it is necessary, later they can reassure one another fully.

For now, they have urgent business to attend to. They share a look, which promises later, and share a kiss to seal the deal. If the kiss lasts slightly longer than intended, it can be put down to relief and a need of physical reassurance before the pair of them tackle the logistical problems of such an attack. Kate kisses her girlfriend in public, and it is not to make a statement of any kind, as it could have been, but simply to reassure one another of the love they share, to help them get through the trial of the rest of the day.


End file.
